Oh, It’s Just my Vacuum (when really, it’s my house burning down)

Isn’t it funny how we just think that we know things? We’re so confident and so secure. It’s become a habit or a routine, or we just forget that we don’t know everything. I just thought it was my vacuum, but it was actually my house burning down.

It was a normal quiet Saturday night at home. We had cooked another nonedible meal and cleaned the kitchen. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. I have a little Roomba that I set free around the house to do the vacuuming for me. Of course, I do still vacuum and Swiffer but he helps out a little bit. He’s not the smartest guy so he often just crashes into things, and I’ll hear bangs from all over the house, but I tell myself, it’s just my vacuum. At first, I was worried about these sounds but it was always just my vacuum.

Suddenly, there was a loud exploding sound from the front room. My brother flew up off the couch with a panicked look on his face. And I told him, “Don’t worry, it’s just my vacuum.” “Are you sure?” he asked me. “Of course I’m sure,” I said.

Then we both looked over towards the dining room and saw lights flickering that could only come from flames! We shot up and ran into the front room and sure enough, there was a fire 3 feet high. 

Maybe it wasn’t just my vacuum….

Isn’t it also funny how sometimes, we just don’t give up even when we know we should? We keep believing in something and we keep trying and trying and trying even though it’s told us over and over again it’s just not going to work?

I did that earlier with this charging brick. We were expecting bad weather, so I was getting flashlights and portable chargers and candles. I found this little power brick thing that my mom gave me years ago and thought it would be just perfect. But it had no charger. It looked like it might’ve taken the same charger as my kid’s E-bike, so I plugged it in there, and it appeared to be charging at first. But then it stopped. So, I kept trying to charge it. Even though I saw a little tiny spark when I plugged it in. Still, I would not be deterred. 

When it did not seem to be charging there, I thought hey, it also looks like the charger for my small little hand vac! That might work. So, I took it in the front room and used that charger. Once again, it looked like it was charging, but then it stopped. It wouldn’t charge up more than the two little bars. At this point, I should’ve said, geez, you’re an old little guy, and you’ve worked hard, and I think you’ve seen your better days. And I should’ve just given up and thrown it in the trash. But did I do that? Of course not! I plugged it in again and left it charging, believing in a 10-year-old power block that has repeatedly told me to let him die.

That is what caught fire, exploded and caused the fire in my front room on that quiet Saturday night. 

My first thought in every situation is always, it will be fine. If there’s a flood, and my house is floating away, the first thing I will say is, it will be fine. Even when I know in my heart, nothing will be fine. The first words that always come out of my mouth are, it will be fine. I think it’s part of being a mom. When you’re terrified inside, you have to keep calm for your kids, so you simply smile and say, it’s fine. After years of that, I guess it’s become a habit. I don’t believe a word I say, though. I just hope others do. 

So here we are standing in the front hall, watching this fire in my living room and all I say is, it will be fine. My son comes running downstairs, every smoke detector in the house is going off, and I calmly tell my son that everything is fine and tell him to go back up to his room and keep playing video games. Thinking back, don’t you evacuate your kids from the house when there’s a possible fire instead of telling them it’s fine and sending them back up to their room where they could be trapped on the second floor?  I’ll make a note to myself for next time. He listens to me though and goes back up to his room. Maybe people shouldn’t listen to me. Who let me have kids anyway??

The house is filled with smoke, and I pick up the cat to lock her in my bedroom and tell her, it will be fine. Looking back, I just trapped her on the top level, too. I should not be allowed to have pets.

Good thing I didn’t become a fire fighter. (Which was actually one of my dreams when I was little but the thought of possible blood at accident scenes made me pause and take a different path.)

Now, you learn all about fire safety, and what to use to put out certain fires and what to do if there’s a fire emergency but when you’re actually in it, you don’t remember anything. I grab the doormat inside the front door and throw it to my brother to tell him to put the fire out with it. He puts it over the fire and then, I’m not even joking here, he sits on it to try to put it out. Of course, the fire burns right through my doormat (which I really love and miss) and he jumps up quickly when his butt starts to get hot.

And then it hits me, this is what a fire extinguisher is for, right? There’s been one on the wall in the kitchen ever since I moved into the house. It came with the house in 2013. So, I run to grab it, look at the little full and empty sign and of course it’s on empty. 

Did I know it was empty? How long has it been on empty? I’m sure I’ve seen it. Did I just ignore it because when am I ever going to really need it? Retelling this story to my son he recalls how he and the neighbor used to spray each other with it for fun. “Is it the same fire extinguisher?” he asks. Yep, sure is.

Meanwhile, the fire is just growing. There is a lamp next to it, and the cord is just melting in front of our eyes. The plug is melting into the outlet. And what do I think about? I think to myself, THAT is the charger to my hand vacuum! I use it every day to vacuum the pet hair off the couch! And it’s perfect for vacuuming my stairs. How am I ever going to charge my little hand vacuum again?

When I realized I was being ridiculous worrying about charging my hand vacuum my next thought was, what a freaking mess this is going to be! Who is going to clean up this mess? Am I going to clean up this mess? Of course I’m going to clean up this mess. Can I clean up this mess? I cleaned so much already. I don’t know if I have time to clean up another mess? Do I EVEN know how to clean this mess??

Once again, stop worrying about the mess because there is still a fire in your house!

I run around the house, opening windows and opening doors. Not all the windows open, but I know the ones that do. Once again, another afterthought, why are you opening windows when the fire is not even out yet??? Get that fire out first!

The funny thing is no one stops to call 911. No one even thinks about it. What have you always been taught if there’s a fire? Call 911!

Also, none of the neighbors came over to check on me or called 911 themselves. What kind of neighbors are they? The doors were open, the smoke alarms blaring, and all my neighbors were asleep in the beds?? I guess I can’t count on them to save my life.

Oh! Water!!! I’ll just get us some water! I’ll get us some water! I think to myself all excitedly and all impressed with how brilliant I am to have thought of water. Can I get the hose from outside and bring it in here?? No, that will take too long. And will it even reach?

Retelling this story to my mother she said you have to be careful with water if it’s an electrical fire because you can get shocked. Huh! My mother is so smart. I didn’t think of that even though after the fact, it makes perfect sense. Well, the good news is no one got electrocuted here! Not this time!

I filled a spaghetti pot with water and ran it over to my brother who dumped it on the charging block and threw it on top of it to suffocate it. The fire was out. 

Now I’m a crier. I will cry about anything. I cried when my fridge broke. I cried when my dryer smelled like smoke. I even cried when I had to throw out my outside shoes because they were covered with such an unbelievable amount of dog poo, I could never get them clean again. But do you know what I did when the fire was finally out? I laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed so hard that I couldn’t stop for about five minutes. Even though there was nothing funny about the situation. Isn’t it funny how your body responds with the opposite emotion sometimes?

The smoke detectors were still going off. We ran around the house, trying to figure out where they all were, and which one was making a loud noise. We finished opening windows and doors. It also happened to be the coldest night ever in Wilmington.

We pulled off all the smoke detectors, and the house was finally quiet. My brother had to use a wrench to pull the black plug which had burned into the wall and outlet. He covered the outlet with electrical tape, stood up, brushed his hands and says “Whew!” And then he said so calmly, “well, I’m going to bed.” 

To be fair, it was after midnight, but still….

What?!?! Going to bed??? We almost burned the house down! I’m traumatized! Aren’t you? There’s a huge mess! I will never be able to sleep tonight.

I stood there looking at soot covering every surface of my house, a big puddle on the floor, doors and window open and he can sleep?!

Is it a guy vs girl thing? Or is it just my brother. He is always so calm and laid back. I want to be him. 

So I mopped the floor at least 10 times, wiped off every surface I could, although they all needed to be wiped off again at least 10 times over the next couple days, closed the doors and windows when I thought the home was ventilated enough, and then stayed up all night googling how to clean up fire damage in your house.

This is how my house looked after I cleaned. 

The first thing I read was, don’t try to clean the soot off with water because that will make it worse and just spread it. Which is exactly the first thing I did before I decided to ask Google. It just makes sense! Always ask Google first! I should know that rule! 

Don’t you hate it when you ask Google and there are a million different answers? How do you get rid of fire damage? The answers ranged from vinegar, bleach, a dry chemical sponge, (never heard of it but it was $45 when I looked it up) and some cleaner I had never heard of that sounded like toilet paper.

So, the next morning my brother and I got to work. I could not live with a black wall in my front room.  Do we know anything about fixing a wall after fire damage? No, but it’s amazing what you can learn from Google. We started with vinegar because we had it. Then we just googled it and went from there. Less than 24 hours later it looked like this.

I’m not quite sure how we did it. It’s not perfect but I can live with imperfect. But isn’t it amazing what you can do when you really put your mind to something? When you really don’t want to live in a home with fire damage on your wall? If my brother and I can perform this miracle, you would think we could cook an edible meal. Maybe we can now? I will keep you updated. 

But for now, don’t blame things on your vacuum. Get off your butt and investigate. Also, don’t think you know everything.

Lastly, does anyone know where I can get a new charger for my hand vac?