The Wine Lady

I love wine. I’ve always loved wine. I mean, everyone loves wine I know, but probably not as much as I do. We moved to North Carolina in 2013 and the thing I knew I would miss the most were the wineries in Virginia.

Before we moved here, I said we have to look and see if there are any wineries in Wilmington or we cannot move. We Googled and there was one! Right in the middle of Wilmington, North Carolina! How lucky! Ok, we can move there. We decided to go there as soon as we moved here and it ended up being a wine shop in the middle of a strip mall. That isn’t a winery. Boo!

I know for those local people there’s Duplin Winery but that muscadine wine has a very distinct taste and it’s just not for me. Blah! No offense to anyone who likes that stuff. As you will find out by the time you get to the end of this post, I am not quite the wine connoisseur that you would expect, so that muscadine wine could be good and I don’t even know it.

Virginia has the most beautiful wineries ever. I definitely recommend going. People go for the wine of course, but it’s more than that. People go for the experience. People go for the atmosphere. The tasting rooms are like great big cozy living rooms where you can just hang out with your friends. There are board games and pretty views and sometimes even a roaring fire if it’s chilly outside. There’s usually large outdoor areas with tables and chairs where you can hang out and enjoy the view. Back in the day your kids could run wild and climb trees. They could bring soccer balls and accidentally hit people in the face or spill wine and occasionally break glasses and no one minded. They would apologize and laugh at it all. We were all one big winery family. Even the strangers. These days, most vineyards that allow kids allow only “well-behaved kids.” What exactly is a “well-behaved kid?” Is there such a thing? I can only speak from experience with my kids so I say no, but maybe they do exist.

I love the the feeling that thoughts of wineries give me. I call it my winery feeling. A day spent in the sunshine with family and friends. The crisp air, the kids running around and playing, the sound of laughter. Oh and eating cheese. After wine, cheese would be my second favorite food. If you consider wine food. I do. It makes a good dinner sometimes when my cooking is a big failure, which, if you’ve been reading this blog, you know that it often is. “Oh well, it’s fine, I will just have wine for dinner,” I say with a shrug. (of course I don’t feed my kids wine for dinner when it’s a failure. They just starve. Kidding! Doritos work just fine for dinner in those instances.)

Some wineries also have pizza places attached to them and even breweries. Even cabins! Everything you need! You could practically live there! I have such fond memories of days spent with families and friends, and just a feeling of acceptance and camaraderie and slowing down. And the beauty can literally take your breath away. How can you not feel calm and at peace while looking at something so beautiful?

I’ve always wanted to open my own winery. I wanted to create that space for people to feel how wineries have always made me feel. I wanted everyone to feel that winery feeling that I get.

I wanted to be that winery owner who is behind the bar doing tastings and just chatting with all the customers about how she bought the winery and built it from the ground up. The one sharing her wisdom and her love and knowledge of the wines. I picture myself strolling through the rows of my vineyard every evening after I close the winery. I would talk to the grapes and I would encourage them. “ I see you, girl! You’re looking nice and plump tonight! You’ve got this!” Haven’t you heard that plants grow better when you speak to them? I’m sure that grapes do, too.

In my imaginary vineyard, I would stomp all the grapes with my bare feet I Love Lucy style. Can you imagine how good that would feel?!? Of course I would wear a flowy white dress, and I would hold it up to my knees while I stomped around a big bin full of grapes. My head would be thrown back in laughter and I’d be listening to music from Dar Williams. I mean I HAVE to be better at owning a winery than I am at feeding my family, right?

But here’s the thing. After all the wineries that I have gone to, after all the hours spent listening to wine experts explain how each wine is aged in oak or stainless steel and all the hints of blackberries, and fermentation, after all the wine I have drank, I STILL know nothing about wine. Except I like it. And it all kind of tastes the same. I know! Big GASP from all the real wine people reading this.

I know I would have to be knowledgeable while I pour the wine and tell my guests about it. I know I need to say things like this has been aged in oak for six months and you can taste hints of strawberries and pomegranate in it. Or maybe I’ll just make stuff up when I pour wine and see if anybody notices.

I will say things like

“This wine has been aged in some kind of barrel for some amount of time and there might be hints of dog hair in there. Cheers!”

Or maybe, “This one has hints of cat dander. We have stray cats on the vineyard that come to visit. My mom brought them with her in her purse and just left them.”

Or something like, “This wine was aged in my bathtub because I ran out of those barrel thingies. There might be some toilet germs from when I flush the toilet and probably some bathroom cleaner from when I cleaned the bathtub to make the wine. And I had some leftover strawberries and blueberries from dinner last week so I threw them in there. I also had some leftover lettuce so I figured that would taste good. Why not give it a try? Why not? Has anyone ever put vegetables in wine? They put them in smoothies now. What’s so special about fruit? We are all about inclusion at this vineyard.”

You never know, people might like it. Maybe they won’t come for the wine. Maybe they will come for the experience, the atmosphere, and my charming personality. Oh! Maybe they can bring their own wine? Maybe it will be the first BYOW winery. Bring your own wine winery. I might be onto something.

Or maybe I should give up on the winery-owning dream. And my cooking dream too. That’s fine. I have plenty of other dreams. I have to be good at something, right? I’ll keep trying.