Pesto Problems

“Let’s make Pesto,” my brother said.  Pesto… what exactly is Pesto? Basil, right? It’s one of those things I never think about, never order at restaurants, or have ever even thought about making. I know it’s green stuff that goes on pasta and it tastes good, so I said sure. We had a rare night without my kids at home so we could make whatever we wanted. I think the plan was my brother wanted to cook for me, but, since you know what a great chef I am, I just had to take over. I probably should’ve just left it alone and let the kid cook for me.

Well, it’s a partnership, so we decided to do it together. He pulled up a recipe on his phone and we went to the grocery store together. He was naming off the ingredients and I was getting them off the shelves and putting them in the cart. We got some pine nuts, (which took us forever to find because they are not by the nuts. How does that make sense?  It has the word NUTS in the name!) garlic, lemon juice, Parmesan cheese, soy milk? I’m just getting whatever he is reading off the recipe. He mentions something about pesto, and I said that must be where the pasta sauces are because I’ve seen it there. There were a bunch of pesto pasta sauces in jars, and I told him that is not what we’re looking for because we are making our own. Then I see a little jar of clumpy looking pesto stuff and I tell him this must what we need to make the pesto. Then we also found some arugula because the recipe calls for arugula. Looking back, I should’ve noticed the recipe didn’t call for any basil and even I know that basil is the main ingredient in pesto. I thought that was the stuff in the jar maybe? But my brother was reading the recipe, and I was just following what he said. I swear I did not hear him say basil at all so I’m not sure this is entirely my fault. I am half deaf though, but we will ignore that fact.

So we go home, and we start following the recipe. We put some pine nuts and lemon juice and garlic and pesto stuff in the food processor. We follow the recipe and add some soy milk to make it creamy. Then we mix it all in with the pasta. Throw in some parmesan cheese. I think we added way too much soy milk because it looks like soup at this point. I thought it said two cups, but it must have been wrong. I’m sure the recipe was written wrong. Typo probably. You can barely see the pasta under the green pool of liquid. It is a very pretty light green color though so at least I have something pretty to look at.

It’s fine, it’s fine, I say. I will just pour out some of this liquid and then it will be perfect. I drain some into the sink and then continued mixing, but it still was just a watery goopy mess. The parmesan has also melted in a very gooey way.  Is pesto supposed to be so watery? Oh, we forgot the arugula! Like adding arugula into the watery goopy mess will help anything but you never know. It’s worth a try.

So I add the arugula and it’s still a liquidly light green mess with arugula leaves floating in it. This looks great, I declare with a smile on my face.   I think we did it right. I spoon it onto plates. I know full well that neither one of us will admit it’s awful. We will just eat it and say it tastes good. So it will be a success even if it isn’t. There isn’t a kid judge here who will wrinkle his nose and make a gagging face while spitting my hard work onto his plate.

As I am walking towards the table with the plates in my hand, I stop and glance at that little jar of pesto stuff. I pick it up and look closely at it. Pesto? Did we just use pesto to make pesto? I think we did. We just used delicious ready-made pesto to make soy milk pesto flavored soup? How could we have spent all that time making pesto out of pesto and had it come out looking nothing like pesto????  

So we boil more noodles, and we use the actual pesto from the jar to put on our pasta. It is delicious. I consider it a success. A successful pesto meal. Even if we didn’t make it ourselves. Maybe we’ll try again next time. Or just buy ready-made pesto since it’s so delicious and easy.

We can’t throw out food though, so we save the soup pesto mess we made and put it in the fridge. We will probably eat it later. Maybe. Or just look at it. It is a beautiful color after all.